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Sometimes, predicting things isn't too fun.

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Sep. 20th, 2008 | 06:16 am

I really feel the reality of the world crushing down on me. How you have to really put effort and your life into your job, if you really want to succeed. How easily it is to rise in your workforce and how easily you can be replaced. I'm happy that I'm starting to get a better job title and slowly moving away from cashiering and something I'm actually meant to do.

Replaced...ahahaha. I like I always have the luck in the world...to always be the first to try out everything and for others to leach off the end product. Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother trying? I thought I had something that was valuable and someone I could trust. As a close friend, but even in the end I saw right through it. It makes me think and wonder how really "fair" life is. I have a handful of people who I can say are my friends or close friends. But sometimes, I feel like that amount gets smaller and it scares me how really alone I am in this world.

I'd wish Howard would have more time to spend with me, but he's busily studying away at his work...and it just feels like him going to Stuy and I'm attending LaG again. Instead of having the convience of my friends to be with me, I'm toiling away at work and with my free time..what do I do? Sleep and work some more. And if I'm up to sacraficing my sleep, I'll play Halo with my clan.

I feel like when you give 100% of your time to making sure someone is okay and that'd they'd repay you back for it and treat you the same way. That's wrong. Like how  I treated someone to soup when he as sick and after that he was infactuated with me because I was conviently single. But, when I got back with Howard, his niceness and his immediate response was gone. I feel that even though I listen to how everyone feels and try to cheer them up...in the end...sometimes what about me?

When does that chance happen when they catch me when I fall?

Because I'm falling right now.

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